


pineapple on pizza is evil and here's why

by MxExOxW



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Crack, Gen, Pineapples, Pizza, Strained Friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:33:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26156560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxExOxW/pseuds/MxExOxW
Summary: The very true story of what happens when the s12 girls meet up to get pizza together. Based on Nicky calling Jan "embarrassing" for liking pineapple on pizza.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	pineapple on pizza is evil and here's why

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's not canon anymore since Heidi said she likes pineapple on pizza as well but I didn't know that when I wrote it. Also I'm sorry this exists.

One day, Gigi Goode was bored. She was completely out of ideas, she had done everything she could think of. She had done her makeup, gotten in full high drag, organized her makeup, sorting it alphabetically and watched a whole TV series, now she was sort of tired but still bored.

Her first instinct was to call Crystal to meet up somewhere to do something together, but then she decided to text the group chat because she was tired of the wild Crygi fans that would freak out as soon as someone saw them together. So, therefore seeing all of the girls together would be better.

Gigi: I’m bored let’s do something together 

Nicky: Let’s go shopping, I need new makeup, ran out of highlighter:(

Crystal: There’s this cool new pizza place, apparently it’s really good(e)!!!🙈🙈💕

Gigi: yeah well we’ll do whatever Crystal wants

Nicky: I’m disappointed but not surprised 

(Everyone has time and agrees)

At the pizza place..

Gigi ignored all of the weird glances people were giving her. What was so weird about someone with a tiny bit of makeup in a very mildly flashy pirate outfit (that was obviously a look and no costume) at 1pm in the afternoon?

She quickly found the rest of her sisters, but to be fair they were so loud you couldn’t really miss them. When she walked up to them to greet the other girls, she noticed that someone had made the horrible mistake of letting Aiden and Brita sit next to each other. They were hissing like some kinds of cats (probably from watching too much Tiger King) and were trying to claw each other’s eyes out. The rest of them had been talking relatively peacefully until Rock for some reason tried to impersonate Trixie Mattel’s laugh and everyone joined in. Gigi sat down next to Crystal and they made out, just for fun and because Gigi just needed to do something to not go insane from being bored. Jaida offered to change seats with Aiden in order not to be thrown out of the restaurant.

The waiter, who looked very stressed and uncomfortable quickly handed them the menus before disappearing. The girls quieted down to study the menus, but unfortunately for everyone else it only took a couple of minutes before everyone had decided, and the loud talking started once again, louder than before if that was even possible. The queens didn’t even notice the annoyed glances from the other people.

When the waiter walked up to them once more, Nicky suddenly felt like something terrible was about to happen. And it did only a few seconds later when Jan ordered her food. 

“One Hawaiian pizza, please.”

Everyone gasped in shock, not believing what they had just heard. Crystal broke down in tears, and Gigi dragged her out of the restaurant, but not before calling Jan a monster.   
Jackie, Widow, Heidi and Jaida just left, shaking their heads. They did not want to be around such terrible influence.  
The rest of the girls, excluding Nicky, who was still in such a state of shock she couldn’t move, demanded to be seated as far away from Jan as possible, everyone stating that she was no longer their sister.

Nicky spoke up around five minutes later, still shaking.   
“That’s it. This magical friendship is now canceled. The free trial is over. We are no longer sisters. You are an embarrassment to this family, I mean season. I’m going to to do IT now. It needs to be done. I no longer want to be associated with you in any way anymore.” Nicky grabbed her phone, wanting to do the unthinkable.

Jan shivered in fear. Not believing her eyes or ears. All of this stupid drama, just because everyone else couldn’t appreciate this match made in food heaven. (A/N: I cringed so hard, I did not want to write ANYTHING remotely positive about pineapple on pizza.) And now Nicky was about to do THE thing??  
Luck seemed to be on Jan’s side today, a member of the production team from RPDR walked up to Nicky, and slapped her wrist so her phone fell onto the floor, splitting into tiny pieces like her heart when she had heard Jan say something so vile and disgusting.

“Yeah lol you can’t block her rn, the fans still have to believe y'all are best friends. Sorry!” He left after that.

Nicky left without a word. She was done with the day, Jan and the world. As soon as she was home, she wanted to meditate to get rid of all of the negative energy she had been exposed to today. 

In her kitchen, however, was something worse than a bloody crime scene. Something so horrible she wanted to run out of her apartment as soon as she saw it. On the counter was a pineapple pizza.

Nicky moved out the same day and burned her house down, hoping she would be free now. She moved somewhere where no one would ever find her and started a career as a makeup artist for sheep.


End file.
